My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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