i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
