just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
