Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
