i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
