It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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