I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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