Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
