My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
