U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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