he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
