had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
