am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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