Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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