I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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