Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
