You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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