i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
