So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
