no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
