how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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