so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and she was petting her beer can
It's just like the Real World with babies
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
