Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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