Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
