You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
