Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
