were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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