He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
