Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry charliepants hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now

Fav 10 2550 1302
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

Fav 25 1216 3699
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(352): View more from Florida

I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

Fav 13 6069 1241
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.

(1-360): View more from Washington

That changes everything.

Fav 27 5370 1107
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.

Fav 9 4171 1133
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean

Fav 11 1079 4607
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(626): View more from California

He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.

Fav 7 4044 1554
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.

Fav 3 942 402
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT

Fav 2 32 59
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT