So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
