omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
