wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
