how can u be prego again
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
do herpes really smell.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
