I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
did i just pee glitter
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