I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
