Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Randomize
