So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
