I got chris browned last night
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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