im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
