Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
