Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
