Rock
Scissors
Fuck
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
