There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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