she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
