Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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