Where did you get a picture of my penis
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm getting married
To pizza
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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