exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
