sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you traded sex for a burrito?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
