Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
