Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it was like eating out sand paper
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
